5 Tips To Have Successful Blended Household

Posted on June 04, 2016 | Comments

Parenting in a blended household is one of the hardest things that one can experience. Finding where everyone fits in and setting boundaries are only a few of many lessons to learn while parenting children who are not your own. Here are some steps to having a successfully blended household.

1. Leave discipline up to the biological parent.

The last thing you want is for your significant other's children to despise you because you are playing "mom" or "dad". Play "Mr. Nice Guy" when it comes to your step kids, do not yell or discipline them because it will lead to them having harsh feelings against you and may lead to problems with the parent who resides out of the household. Keep it simple on your part, it will be much easier for you! Maybe after a year or more you will be able to be more disciplinary but don't rush it.

2. Do not force the child to like you.

Most times children have a hard time adjusting to the changes after their parents are separated. They go from living in one house with both parents to living in two separate houses and having a step parent. Sometimes a child needs to find their place in the house and they may not adjust to you right away. Do not force yourself on the child but give them time to adjust to the changes they are going through.

3. Encourage a relationship with the other parent.

It is easy to be jealous of the other parent who resides outside of the home but do not let it get the best of you. Do not talk bad about the child's other parent, and encourage them to have a good relationship with that parent. If you can be civil with the children's other parent, it is the best thing that you can do to improve relationships with your stepchildren.

4. Keep fights behind closed doors.

Sometimes it is hard to keep your feelings in but it is one of the best things you can do. The last thing you want is for your step kid to see you fighting with their biological parent because most likely they will try to side with their mom or dad and make you feel outcast. Speak privately with your spouse when the kids are not around or are in bed.

5. Treat the kids equally.

You and your spouse may both have kids from previous marriages, be fair with all the kids. It is very hard to be fair when it comes to a blended household but showing favoritism will cause problems between the kids and you and your spouse. Try your best to be fair and if you are unsure, speak to your spouse and ask him or her to point out if you are not being as fair as you should.

Blended households have a high divorce rate because many do not realize how much work you have to put into having a happy home. Do not give up because it is possible to make it work. The most important thing is to speak to your spouse about any issue that may arise and work them out together.